At least I cleaned up ...

I do my best to find silver linings with my current health situation. I really do. I recently had a friend tell me, "You've certainly figured out the secret to making lemonade from lemons and I'm very very happy for you. You are proof of what a positive outlook can do in life." I took that as a high compliment. I make the best lemonade I can imagine. (Note to self - I should launch a lemonade brand and donate the proceeds to cancer-based charities. I'll add that to my future projects list!)

I have been battling nausea for the past two weeks. It has been incredibly difficult at times and I have found food very distasteful. It's a little funny because if I have food in my stomach, I am usually less nauseated, but I don't have any desire to eat.

I was chatting casually with a co-worker about a week ago and jokingly said to him, "I need to go get a drink before I throw up." I needed to get something into my stomach as a wave of nausea was setting in. I walked the 100 steps to the break room and before I even had a chance to get my drink out of the refrigerator, I did.

I. Threw. Up.

A lot. 

At work! 

In the break room! 

Yuck! 

How embarrassing! 

I broke out into that cold sweat you get while vomiting. My dress shirt was sticking to me and I just stood there, leaning over the trash can. 

Here's my silver lining. 

1) I learned where the trash dumpster is. Of course, I cleaned up and took out the trash. I had no idea where the building trash dumpster was located. I asked someone and was able to walk directly to it. We have a fire drill planned next week and our meeting place is the trash dumpster. Now I know where to go!! 

2) I have had a slightly misaligned rib and it's bothered me for a couple of months. I have been visiting a chiropractor, doing exercises and managing the pain as best I can. It was close to being fixed, but the violent act of vomiting popped it right back into place and I haven't had a bit of pain since!

That's how you make lemonade!

Pack. Write. Connect.  

Just a Little Sample

Everyone loves samples! I can't thank the team at HarperCollins enough for allowing me to share the introduction and the first chapter with you. 

Click HERE to view the sample! 

9 Weeks, 6 Days

Most days I don't have any idea how my body is responding to cancer treatment. Sure, I know all too well the side effects that are brought on from the meds, but I truly haven't the faintest idea if the meds are working or not. 

I have a competitive spirit. I love to win. I don't play for the fun of it. I expect to see results in this fight. My oncologist has tried to temper my expectations. "This is an ultra-marathon, not a sprint." 

Each day I take 4 pills. 

Most days I wait for a sign that won't come. 

But every 9 weeks and six days, I get a report. This report is full of medical jargon. I read it word for word. I don't think I could write the report, but I can interpret it and I know what the words mean. I am looking for something like, "There has been significant improvement" or "no longer evident". 

My summer MRI showed a "slight decrease" in the two lesions. It was definitely not the report that I wanted nor expected. (Previous Post) After such marked improvement in the first phase of the treatment, I was devastated. 

My last MRI was a few days ago. I sat with one of my doctors a couple of days later. However, I already had a copy of the report. I had already cried. I stood in the other room and didn't know how I could take a few steps to my wife, Lissa, and tell her these results. 

"...has not significantly changed since the previous examination." 

I needed a few moments to absorb this information. Once I finished drying my face, I thanked God. The cancer hadn't grown. It hadn't spread. This was good news, just not the news I needed or wanted. 

So, the fight continues. Thursday was not unlike most of my Thursdays since February. I ate dinner, waited two hours, and took my meds. An hour later I ate a snack and promptly fell asleep. I was tired. 

I am tired. I know that fatigue has set in as a side effect, but the length of this fight has also worn me down. I'm going to bed most days shortly after dinner. I struggle to get up in time to make Emma's lunch. 

My medical team has suggested a short break from the meds every three weeks. I'll take the meds for 18 days then take a 3 day break. Guess what! This is my break week. Man, I need it. I need a little respite from the side effects. 

Tomorrow is a new day, a day that I'll be ready for battle. 

Next Update: 9 weeks, 6 days. 

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Rocket 4 the Cure - UPDATE

Rocket 4 The Cure Update

You rock!!!!

I just received an email from the team! They received over $1000 in sponsorships yesterday. It was their best day ever!!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You helped these two boys make a difference and realize that actions can make a difference. Doing something is important.

If you're seeing this post and wondering what I'm talking about, please click here to see where it started:

http://www.napkinnotesdad.com/blog/2014/9/23/rocket-4-the-cure

Rocket 4 the Cure

I want to be upfront and transparent with you. I am not a big fan of the Susan G. Komen Foundation. The "pinkification" of cancer isn't something I support. Cancer isn't as simple as a color. (You'll see why this matters in a bit.) 

My cancer "colors" aren't pink. Frankly, I don't even know what color ribbon I should have. Do I mix the two? Do I just show off two? Does my cancer color even matter? 

I was introduced to a pretty awesome story the other day. There are a couple of high school kids that will break the Guinness Book of World Records for the most rockets simultaneously launched. I am taking their words directly from their website: 

We created Rocket4theCure to raise money for the battle against breast cancer.

And we'd like to break a world record while we're at it.

That's freaking awesome! Dylan's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. This is his way of supporting his mom and other breast cancer patients, and I love it! Sanzio is his good friend and loves rockets. The two of them will be unstoppable! 

Why is this story resonating with me? These guys are doing something. They woke up and decided to help someone, somehow, in a way they could. This project will support the Susan G. Komen Foundation and I am supporting them wholeheartedly. 

"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone." - Ronald Reagan

This is how I am going to ask you to help these two cool guys. 

1) Like their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/rocket4thecure (That's the easy one, right?) 

2) Share this story on your own social media sites. (I know this is a little out there, but this is how word gets out.) 

3) Sponsor a rocket. It's $10. (Yeah, I know. But I am really asking. I wouldn't ask you to do something I wouldn't do myself. I just sponsored two for $20.) Click here to sponsor a rocket. http://rocket4thecure.org/sponsor-a-rocket/ 

I am really asking you for your help. Spread this story. Help these two guys. Why? Because they are doing something and if we support them, others will be encouraged to do something, too. 

Napkin Notes - The Next Chapter

Napkin Notes: Make Lunch Meaningful, Life Will Follow

It's real. I have been reluctant to share this part of my journey because it seemed so unbelievable. However, I have been paging through my advance copy. It's real. I can hold it in my hands. I can sense the weight of the paper, and turn the pages. I can read my words.

On Feb 26, I met with a team at HarperCollins. They were interested in hearing my story. I was hoping and praying for the time to be able to tell it. Little did they know I was going to drop a small bombshell when we started. "I have cancer again. It's my fourth diagnosis. We have a plan, but let's face it, statistically, patients like me have an 8% 5-year survival rate."  

The meeting paused. Someone picked up the phone and called Memorial Sloan Kettering, the country's best kidney cancer center. HarperCollins showed me that they cared about me as a person first. 

I did go to MSK a couple of weeks later. I was able to confirm a treatment plan. But that's not what this part of the story is about. 

I was deeply touched by the concerned actions of the team at HarperCollins. They saw me as a person. They were interested in our story. I was interested in sharing it. We went about working on this project. I was committed to finishing as quick as possible. After all, I have Stage IV kidney cancer. I am well aware of time passing. I wanted to see this project to completion. 

We went to work. I'll be frank. It was harder than I thought it would be. I am a positive and happy man today, but writing about telling Emma I had cancer for the first time was nearly impossible. I had to dredge up memories that we're pushed into the back of my mind. It was gut wrenching and painful. The first year or so after that initial diagnosis was dark. Writing about it was a challenge. (and oh, by the way, I was in treatment, fighting nausea, fatigue, etc. It wasn't the best environment for storytelling!) 

We turned in the first draft in early June and I still didn't share that here. Why? It wasn't 'real' to me yet. It became real when I opened up my copies just a few days ago. It became real when I saw it up on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Crazy, right? 

Last week I found out that the book will be translated into complex Chinese and sold in China. That's the latest in the list that includes Brazil, Portugal, The Netherlands, Mozambique, Angola, South Korea, and Germany. Crazy, right? 

Lissa, Emma, and I are literally walking around our home wondering how we have become so blessed. 

I hope the story will do two things: 

• Inspire parents (& everyone else, too!) to write notes on a regular basis. I believe in my heart this will make a difference in any relationship
• Inspire cancer patients to fight like hell. It's a battle against something that doesn't fight fairly and we need strength and support

If you know someone that could use some inspiration in their life, please click here.