Bucket List Item #2

Last February I wrote out a bucket list. It had 36 items. I taped a copy of it to my home office window, posted it here, and basically was sharing it with the world. I did this for a few reasons. I wanted to publicly state that these items were important to me and that I was going to make them come true, one by one. I also wanted others to think about their own bucket lists, to create them and then follow through. Create action. Make a change. Do. 

A funny thing happened once I made my list. (Here's the original post.) I actually started to check off some of the items. In many cases, others stepped up to help. I am eternally thankful. Today I am happy to check off one more item. 

2. Own a pub in Ireland and pour pints of Guinness for my friends 

I'm thrilled! We're going to Ireland! (Everyone named Callaghan should visit the homeland at least once!) We're taking a break from "real life" next April and going to explore our heritage. Even more importantly, a dear friend of mine, Molly, has arranged for me to become an honorary pub owner along the way! You'll have to be patient as you wait the 119.5 seconds for the pints of Guinness to settle.

One of my bucket list items will be crossed off in about 7 months. Well, that is, if I have friends to pour for! Lissa and Emma are coming with me. Colleen, my sister, will tag along, too. I think Molly is planning to travel with us and a high school friend, Dawn, will be there.  The trip has space for about 47 people, and there are a dozen spots left. I am extending an open invitation to my friends. If you have always wanted to travel to Ireland, I'd love to meet you there! This is a true invitation. I value the relationships in my life more than anything else. 

If you're interested, you can take a gander here: Ireland Trip 

I have never poured Guinness from a tap. I have a lot of practice ahead! 

PS - For everyone out there fighting cancer or any long term health battle, making long term plans is an incredibly important commitment. Plan for a future. Fight. Live! 

The ALS Challenge Part II

Emma was challenged by some friends and her dad.

We hereby challenge ALL of the Napkin Notes Community to donate either time or money to a favorite charity! Please, DO something. Don't let her cold head go to waste!

The ALS Challenge

I accepted the ALS Challenge from Alex Sheen, the founder of Because I said I would.

I hereby challenge ALL of the Napkin Notes Community to donate either time or money to a favorite charity! Please, DO something. Don't let my cold head go to waste!

Preparing to Die

A few days ago, I posed a question. Do you have a Will? I wanted some honest feedback and wasn’t judging. Most of the responses were that the person had a Will. Based on my limited experience, I sense that many of those without a Will were silent.

I’ve been working on a project with a new colleague and friend, Cindy DiTiberio.  It’s safe to say that Cindy knows me inside and out due to our work on this project. She knows both the public and the private Garth. She stunned me with a question the other day and I have been contemplating it ever since she asked.

Lissa and I had been working with a lawyer, Sharon Ten, and preparing a lot of documents. All of these documents were what you’d consider “end of life” documents. We worked on a Will, Power of Attorney, Advanced Medical Directives, and a Trust. I am ashamed to say I have never had a Will drawn up.  Yes, I have been battling cancer since 2011 and didn’t have a Will. Not only that, I have had a child for over 14 years and didn’t have a Will!

Cindy asked, “How do you balance preparing to die with the fact that you're doing everything you can to live?”

Well! Huh! Crud!

Living. Fighting. Staying Positive.

Preparing for death. The end.

They aren’t contradictory. In fact, they are hardly related.

I’ve made it pretty clear that fighting is an important aspect of my life. Heck, if I weren’t fighting, you probably wouldn’t be reading this. I shared something with one of my nurses last week. I told her I firmly believed I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I was on a path that I didn’t choose, but it held great importance to me. Part of my purpose is to be the most enthusiastic and positive cancer patient I can be.

I wake up every morning and choose to be positive.

It is a choice.

I grew up in a Funeral Director’s family. My dad owned the Callaghan Funeral Home. My maternal grandfather, Papa, owned the Keough & Son Funeral Home. Both Papa and my Uncle Ron ran that business. My cousin, Brendan, now co-owns the Butler-Keough Funeral Home in the same town.  Our family has been helping others with death and dying for over 80 years.

Death is an inevitable point in everyone’s life. Last I checked, we have a 100% chance of dying. We usually just don’t know the timing.

Even though it took a kick in the pants, I chose to prepare. My dad, ironically, didn’t. His Will was 40 years old when he died a few years ago. I am happy to say that we think we have done our best to legally protect the family in the event that one of us dies.

“How do you balance preparing to die with the fact that you're doing everything you can to live?”

I will die, someday. Let’s hope and pray it’s far into the future. In the meantime, I’ll fight like hell to beat this cancer.

"You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and in the manner in which you live." – Stuart Scott

Special thanks to Sharon Ten and the law firm of Bowen Ten Cardani, PC. They made the process easier than I expected and were incredibly thorough.

Again, thank you all for walking on this journey with me. I couldn’t do it alone.

Food Glorious Food

From Oliver, the musical:

Food Glorious Food

Is it worth the waiting for?
If we live 'til eighty four
All we ever get is gru...el!
Ev'ry day we say our prayer --
Will they change the bill of fare?

One of my biggest challenges while undergoing cancer treatment is something many of us take for granted: eating.

I have no desire to eat. The medicine suppresses my appetite. The medicine has altered my taste buds and most of the food I could eat tastes like wet cardboard. (Well, I am guessing. I am NOT a wet cardboard gourmet!) I used to love to eat spicy foods. I would eat at Thai restaurants and would shake my head when the servers offered me "American Hot." I wanted more heat! Now, if I eat anything that is higher than black pepper on the Scoville scale, I cry in pain. It's like putting shards of glass in my mouth.

I have a list of enjoyable foods that becomes smaller and smaller each day.

1. Applesauce
2. Red grapes
3. Bananas
4. Shrimp
5. Cream of Wheat
6. Strawberries
7. Costco frozen yogurt parfait
8. Green beans
9. Pears
10. Pineapples
11. Egg Drop Soup
12. Shrimp Fried Rice
13. Various cereals and milk
14. Homemade chicken soup
15. Arnold Palmers (Iced Tea mixed with Lemonade)
16. Eggs, but not scrambled. (Scrambled eggs fell of from the list a few weeks ago)

That's it.  Sixteen things that I look forward to eating.  Sheesh!

On top of the food and eating issue, my stomach is often upset. My intestines and colon aren't all to happy, either! So, why would I eat? The whole process is problematic! I really don't have much incentive to eat.

My wife, Lissa, is very focused on my nutritional and caloric intake. She can magically tell when I haven't eaten enough and appears out of nowhere with a snack or food. It's eerie. I know one of her tricks. My lips turn purple when I am not feeling well and that's one of the signs that I really should have eaten already. Honestly, if she's not there to remind me at times, I would skip eating until I passed out.

I've lost about 34 pounds since my surgery in October. I have lost 25ish since I started my meds in mid-February. The good news is that I really should have lost that weight anyway! I wouldn't necessarily recommend this method, but it is what it is.

I think this might be what some pregnant women feel like. Some foods look and smell completely disgusting to me. I actually had to leave the house once when we were making Turkey Burgers. How sad is that? My favorite foods - they are completely off of the list. I miss peanut butter. I miss salad.

Why am I sharing this? I am sharing this because I actually look forward to eating from my limited menu when I am hungry! It's a blessing to have this food. I will never take food for granted for the rest of my life. 

A special shout out to Little Szechuan Chinese Restaurant on Staples Mill Road in Glen Allen. I get Egg Drop Soup from them 3-4 days a week! They are directly responsible for a major amount of my caloric intake and I am eternally grateful! If you live in RVA, you should go eat there! Tell them I sent you!