Travel Tips
WGarth Callaghan
Emma's off to Italy! Since I can't pack her a note in her lunch, I packed a bunch of notes and hid them in her suitcase. I hope she finds them in time since they are travel tips I have learned over my many years traveling.
Dad Travel Tip #1
1) Put dirty underwear back in the suitcase next to clean underwear.
2) Forget which is which.
3) Eh. Who cares? Now you have an endless supply of "this is probably clean."
Pack. Write. Connect.
Dad Travel Tip #2
When ordering cappuccino in Italy, make sure you sat the right words for the drink size:
Grande = great
Venti = 20
Trenta = 30
Makes sense, right??
Dad Travel Tip #3
If you want good pizza, try to find a Sbarro's.
Dad Travel Tip #4
While passing by an obnoxious tour group, it is acceptable to whisper under your breath, "Damn Americans" and then start humming, "Oh, Canada!"
Dad travel Tip #5
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
Dad Travel Tip #6
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." - Yogi Berra
Dad Travel Tip #7
1) Google "Best museums in _______"
2) Boy, that's a lot of museums.
3) Buy some gelato.
Dad Travel Tip #8
Don't get on the plane. Get in the plane.
Dad Travel Tip #9
You don't have to use the hotel laundry. You don't do laundry at home, why should it be different on the trip?
Dad Travel Tip #10
At Customs, declare your chaperone is an idiot.