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Castle Point Court
Glen Allen, VA 23060

8045025506

Garth Callaghan

Napkin Notes Dad

Author

Speaker

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The Napkin Notes Blog

An interview with Luke Tyson

WGarth Callaghan

It was incredible for Emma and me to sit down and speak with Luke Tyson, a local reporter with Scholastic News Kids Press Corps. Please read his article here:

http://kpcnotebook.scholastic.com/post/just-write

About Luke:

Luke Tyson is from Virginia and was born in 2001.

- Luke volunteers for two local community organizations, the SPCA and Beds for Kids.
- His favorite book is Paper Towns by John Green.
- Luke is studying French and Spanish, and he likes to play ping-pong in his spare time.

Luke can be found on twitter: @luke_tyson0

Two years ago

WGarth Callaghan

Two years ago today, my friend Alex Sheen, shared our story for the first time. He wrote: 

“What does high risk mean?” Garth asked. His oncologist looked him in the eyes and responded... “You are going to die of this.” Garth is 44 years old and has been diagnosed with cancer three times since November 2011. Prostate cancer once. Kidney cancer twice. Although he appears healthy today, statistics say he has an 8% chance of living past 5 years. 

Garth has one daughter named Emma. He has been writing napkin notes for Emma’s lunch box since she was in the second grade. They are just a few words of encouragement, but in the busyness of their separate days at work and school, it’s a moment when they can connect. It’s a moment when Garth knows she is thinking about him.

Garth may die, but he will not let Emma eat lunch without that note. This is his promise to write one napkin note for every day of class Emma has until she graduates from high school. To date, he has completed 740 notes. 86 to go. 

Here's a two-year update from Garth: 

Medical: I was diagnosed with cancer one more time, in Feb of 2014. That one was a doozy. I had 5-6 metastasis on my liver, and one growth on my remaining adrenal glad. I have been in treatment (think daily "chemo") since then. It's hard, but I will do what I have to do to fight another day! 

Napkin Notes: I finished the remaining 86 notes right after that post. It was easy. The notes are in a box for safekeeping. I take them out from time to time when a reporter wants to see them. Emma gets a new, fresh note every day. My goal is to present her with the Napkin Note box for her high school graduation in 2 1/2 years. 

Alex's post was the one which launched our story worldwide. I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to talk to parents from around the world about the importance of writing notes to their children. 

Thank you for walking on this journey with us. 

Pack. Write. Connect. 

My Favorite Napkin Note

WGarth Callaghan

People often ask me what's my favorite napkin note. My answer sometimes surprises them. We estimate that I've written somewhere around 4,000 notes at this point. Some of them really stand out. Personally, I am motivated by many of the quotes I've used. I am partial to two: 

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." - Mother Theresa

"Risk something or forever sit on your dreams." - Herb Brooks

Read More

The Jolly Jedi

WGarth Callaghan

2013

Christmas was approaching. Another Christmas overshadowed by cancer. Plus, this year, the medical bills were really piling up. I kept getting diagnosed with cancer and there wasn't any end in sight. Paying the mortgage was a struggle. I looked around my home office and saw things. Some were very special. Yes, I might even say I loved having them. I saw tons of Star Wars figures. I saw limited edition Star Wars Legos, a Boba Fett Limited Edition (1 of 250!) Figure, my Sony PSP that I purchased on its release date (I was the first person in line!), a laptop, and my iPad. I sold them all. I didn't think twice. Things are things.  I was able to pay the mortgage, buy a few Christmas presents, and took care of some bills. I didn’t think about what January would look like. 

Months later, a large box of Star Wars toys appeared on my doorstep from someone that I was proud to call a friend. I was brought to tears. I had no idea how or why, but Alex wanted to help replace a piece of my life. I unpacked the box and replaced the holes on my shelves. But, something didn’t feel quite right. Those Star Wars toys weren’t mine. Over the next couple of years, I decided that I was the toys’ steward. They were in my care, but they didn’t belong to me. I needed to find them a home. 

2015

I had tried to visit various hospitals locally over the past couple of years. None seemed eager to have a Jedi walk through their halls handing out toys. It was incredibly frustrating! I really wanted to help out some kids that would need a bit of light during December. 

And along came St. Joseph’s Villa, a place where children with special needs can thrive. I was overcome with emotion. The kids were a source of never ending questions ranging from writing to the inner workings of my lightsaber. Quite a few tears were shed. I can’t count how many times I heard, “This is the best day of my life” uttered. I was genuinely surprised at the excitement over an old Jedi and his Star Wars toys. 

“My” Star Wars toys are home. 

Merry Christmas

 

Results

WGarth Callaghan

*** RESULTS ***

A successful Dr visit. Although I don't have the copy of my scans in hand, the Dr told us that there is no change. That's a good thing.

We discussed the fact that this treatment doesn't "cure" cancer (but it sure has worked wonders in my body!!) and that we need to make sure that there are plans b, c, d, etc. There are many new drugs that are potentially available to fight metastatic kidney cancer.

I was referred to a nutritionist for some dietary counseling. My Dr and wife are conspiring to make me eat!! Admittedly, I have continued to shed weight. I am not consuming enough nutrients and fuel. (I've lost 8 pounds since my last visit, about 45 since I started treatment.) The nutritionist gave us some great tips on how to avoid nauseating smells and get more bites of food into my body.

We also discussed side effects and how difficult it was to manage them. I don't think we have a good solution. I honestly don't think there is a good solution at this point. However, if they get severe enough, I have permission to take a short break from treatment to try and reset things.

Overall, we're in a good place medically. I'd love to be able to say that I am coming off of treatment, but realistically, that's not in the cards. Not now. Probably not until it stops working, then we have other things to be thinking about anyway.

Thank you all for walking with us on this journey. We are grateful for each and every person lifting us up!

Noel

WGarth Callaghan

We adopted this wonderful “rescue dog” five years ago. I am convinced that Noël helped to save my life. I doubt I would have shown any symptoms of kidney cancer without this event. Four years ago, on Dec 20, 2011, I underwent surgery and had a radical nephrectomy. The surgeon also removed a 13cm tumor. Yikes! 

From Napkin Notes – Chapter 2


I lost sight of her again. I was running, but she was faster. I had to stay on the path, but she was darting through the trees and the underbrush. I could not keep up. The path was too twisted and uneven. I was running up, down, left, and right on the dirt. The afternoon sun was beating down on me through the golden and red leaves. My wife and neighbors were well behind me, but we were all yelling her name. I was doing my best to run ahead, but I was already short of breath. I was scared. She hadn’t been on her own like this, with so much freedom. I had to keep her within eyesight. 

We were camping, an activity I didn’t particularly enjoy. On a hike with our friends, our dog Noël had dashed off in pursuit of something and was nowhere to be seen. We had rescued her less than a year before. Noël had been in a local pet shelter for fifty-nine days. This nearby county shelter was not a “no kill” shelter, and after sixty days, the animals were euthanized. She was saved from that fate by FLAG (For the Love of Animals in Goochland), a local animal rescue group. Noël barely looked like a dog when we met her. She was just fur and bones. The fur she did have was patchy and sparse. 

Noël had clearly been on her own for some time. She was skittish around most ¬people and appeared to be deathly afraid of me. Lissa and Emma were certain: Noël was the dog we had to save. 

I didn’t want a new dog in our home. Lucy was my dog. I had chosen her and loved my German Shepherd–Rottweiler mix for thirteen years. Lucy had died just four months before Lissa and Emma ambushed me with rescue dog pictures. I was still grieving and didn’t want to have room in my heart for another pet. 

I continued running even though my lungs felt like they might explode. Bailey, the neighbors’ golden retriever, was keeping up with Noël, and I could just see a yellow ball of fur up ahead. All I could hope was that Noël wasn’t that far in front of her. 

Finally, I saw the dogs slow, some smell halting their joy run. I was able to catch up and put the leash back on Noël. I let out a huge sigh of relief, thankful that the rest of our weekend wouldn’t be spent wandering the wilderness, hoping to somehow bring Noël home. 

Our neighbors, Mike and Sheryl Bourdeau, had invited us camping, one last getaway before the cold of autumn set in. At least it was camping in a cabin and not in tents. I could handle staying in a cabin much easier than sleeping on the ground. We were celebrating Sheryl’s birthday, and that night Mike had a fantastic dinner of steaks planned. We toasted the birthday girl with red wine and ate gourmet cupcakes. We played games and thoroughly enjoyed one another’s company. The evening came to a close too quickly. As I was preparing for bed, I needed to use the bathroom. As I stood peeing, I watched in shock. My urine was sangria red. 
I couldn’t begin to think what was causing this. There was no pain. There was no other indication that something was wrong with me. I commenced freaking out

7 Alternatives To Not Shaving For Movember 2015

WGarth Callaghan

I think that it’s safe to say that many men loathe shaving each morning, and “No Shave November” is a perfect excuse for men to forgo this morning ritual. Although social media has helped to explode this concept in the past few years, this ritual has its roots in 2003, when 30 Australians decided to raise awareness of men’s cancer issues, prostate cancer and testicular cancer. 

Although I admire the cause, I can’t help but feel that most of my friends and colleagues who skip shaving for these 30 days don’t really get much out of it except for talking about their manly beards. This doesn’t really help the fundamental cause and the cancer issues that face us men.  I hate shaving, and I think that my face is better suited to sporting a goatee than smooth skin.  I however, will not be participating in Movember this year, and I’d like you to think about some other things that could make a bigger impact in your world. 

Here is a list of things that you can actively do for Movember:

1. Check yourself – If we fundamentally look at Movember, we’re trying to protect guys from prostate and testicular cancer.  Do you know the signs and risk factors?  Do you know how to self-examine? Let’s start with raising awareness at home.  Fathers, testicular cancer is the most common cancer in young men between 15 and 35.  It is also highly treatable when found early! Have you talked about this with your sons? Prostate cancer is typically diagnosed in older men, and there is a 1 in 6 chance that you’ll be impacted by this disease.  As you reach your 40’s, you need to start talking with your health care providers.  Again, this cancer is highly treatable when found early!

2. Make or buy dinner – Do you know someone that is going through cancer treatments right now? Make them a healthy dinner, or go buy dinner from a nice restaurant and bring it home to them.  Cancer Patients (I prefer the term Cancer Warriors) have a lot to manage each day.  Dinner is important both from a nutritional perspective and a family time perspective.  Help ease their daily burden just once and provide dinner. 

3. Rake leaves – It is fall in much of the country.  If you know someone with cancer, grab a couple of buddies, some rakes and yard bags, and go to your friend’s home.  Unannounced.  Clean up the yard and take away the leaves.  It's even better to do this if your friend isn't at home. Don’t take credit.  Just do it.  Your cancer warrior friend has bigger battles ahead than dealing with their fallen leaves. 

“There is no limit to the good that you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit.” – Gen George C. Marshall

4. Donate $30 to the ACS – The American Cancer Society is the "Official Sponsor of Birthdays". Their mission is to help fight cancer in every way possible. They help patients, caregivers, and researchers. Take $1 for each day that you would not shave and send it to the American Cancer Society.  They are a fantastic organization.  They help cancer research for all body parts, too!

5. Don’t Ask, Just Do – Anything, really.  Do you have an idea to help a Cancer Warrior?  Act now.  Just do it.  Above all, don’t say to them, “Let me know if you need anything.” This puts the burden back on to the Cancer Warrior.  There is a lot to manage in their lives, and frankly, it’s easier for that person to shrink away from letting you know how completely overwhelmed they feel.  They need help with everything during treatment. 

6. Help the caregiver – Take the caregiver out for coffee, or a movie.  The caregiver is stressed, too.  The caregiver needs a little break.  Help them step out of this situation for just a little while.  Listen.  Show compassion.  Be a friend.  

7. Shave – Really, we don't look all that good with uncontrolled facial hair.   

There are many ways to prove your manhood.  Growing a beard for 30 days is passive. 

Be active.

Do something.